Alexandra Paskhaver

A matter of manners
When I was little and we were having guests over, my mother would always have me set the table. The fork was on the left. That is to say, on the right...
Playing up playgrounds
I miss playgrounds. Now, the only thing I do well on playgrounds is warm up the benches. Speaking of government: when I was in elementary school, we had the sort of high-tech playground equipment that would put the CIA to shame...
The state of the art
I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art yesterday and was once again shocked to not see myself featured. I’m beginning to think they don’t want to exhibit my work...
Rounding one’s corners
I’m such a square, my ears have corners. I make my bed every morning. But this scintillating lifestyle has its drawbacks. I’ve started to think about taking up martial arts. Sure, I take risks...
Building up to something beautiful
New York has been voted the ugliest American city, not because of its architecture, but because of its people. It’s because of its architecture. Europe does things a little better, but not by much...
Day at the museum
If you want to see a flying whale, go to the Natural History Museum in London. That’s because it’s dead. Right when you enter the museum, you see that enormous skeleton suspended from the ceiling: a whole blue whale, or what’s left of it...
The pick of the litter
Just because I think littering should be punishable by death doesn't mean I'm an unreasonable person. I smile when dogs get on public transport. I also have a freshly-oiled chainsaw in my garage...
A run down to London
England! Glorious England! I’ve been in London for the past month, officially as part of a study abroad program. When traveling, the usual questions come up. What’s the currency exchange rate?..
Losing sleep over sleep
I’ve spent a lot of time on the couch. Where most children graduate from a little bed to a bigger one, I graduated to one of those foldable couches where you can keep things beneath the seat. I barely feel those tennis rackets...
One for the road
I just finished “Democracy in America,” which is a book by a Frenchman named Alexis de Tocqueville on… well, it’s in the title. Watson of the duo, only without a mustache, sailed to the United States to check out its capital attractions...
One point of view
When I hike to the end of a long trail and see a beautiful sunset or a sparkling river, a single thought always occurs to me: did I turn off the oven? They’re trying to get themselves in shape and to get me out of my desk chair...
Gone loopy
Recently I took up crocheting, the theory being that if I can’t survive a zombie apocalypse, at least I can have nice coasters. Correspondingly, it requires half a brain to do, which is twice as much as I have...
About Alexandra Paskhaver
Alexandra Paskhaver is a software engineer and writer. Both jobs require knowing where to stick semicolons, but she’s never quite; figured; it; out. For more information, check out her website at https://apaskhaver.github.io.
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