Danny Tyree

Have you visited your 50th state yet?
Tyrades! I was overjoyed to hear that one of my high school classmates and his wife recently completed their bucket-list project of visiting all 50 states. There are only 49 states, ever since scientists decided Pluto isn’t really a state...
Are you hopelessly confused about telephone etiquette?
Tyrades! �� blared a recent headline in the Wall Street Journal. (“Plenty of ink for the battle lines, since we didn’t use any codifying the unwritten rules of cellphone etiquette! ��) about receiving an unexpected personal call...
Should a sense of humor be mandatory for fathers?
Tyrades! They’re paranoid about their children finding out that they had their own youthful indiscretions and regrettable choices. You can ask any of your six stepmoms.. Osage oranges) that littered the ground...
Ready for Pat Sajak’s final spin of the wheel?
Tyrades! Sajak announced his retirement plans a year ago, allowing himself time for a VICT_RY L_P, naming of a successor and cleaning all the spare bullion out of the sofa in the dressing room...
Can the population implosion be stopped?
Tyrades! �� The song written by Laura Nyro and most famously performed by Blood, Sweat & Tears may have been overly optimistic. Climate-change prophets are probably jumping for joy (“Darn! I should’ve settled for the wry smile!..
Is it nice to fool Mother Nature?
Tyrades! Understandably, I was intrigued by a May 11 “New York Post” article about a technological push to manipulate the weather...
Is ‘value’ a dirty word?
Tyrades! I know that restaurants advertise their “value menus” and retailers offer no-frills knockoffs of their glitziest products, but I keep picturing the corporate CEOs loathing such concessions as a necessary evil to appease the (ugh!..
Yearning for random thoughts about Mother’s Day?
Tyrades! Remember the scene where Allen’s character Alvy was stuck in line at the movies, subjected to the pompous blathering of a pseudo-intellectual?..
Does your town need renaming?
Tyrades! Sentimentality saved the day in the funnies, just as it usually applies the brakes to abrupt municipal name changes in the real world. Neither did my father. We can’t change!..
Ready for the bathroom of tomorrow?
Tyrades! Bathroom mirrors that initiate telehealth conferences based on your complexion or facial tics...
Will you still need me, will you still feed me?
Tyrades! (My so-called “good” cholesterol has not exactly overperformed in helping me reach these milestones...
Are you a fan of noisy restaurants?
Tyrades! According to the article, in 2023, audio data from the app SoundPrint found that 63 percent of restaurants are too loud for conversation...

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About Danny Tyree
Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Danny Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said Tyree's mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock." Ellison was speaking primarily of Tyree’s 1983-2000 stint on the "Dan T’s Inferno" column for “Comics Buyer’s Guide” hobby magazine, but the description would also fit his weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades" column for mainstream newspapers. Inspired by Dave Barry, Al "Li'l Abner" Capp, Lewis Grizzard, David Letterman, and "Saturday Night Live," "Tyree's Tyrades" has been taking a humorous look at politics and popular culture since 1998. Tyree has written on topics as varied as Rent-A-Friend.com, the Lincoln bicentennial, "Woodstock At 40," worm ranching, the Vatican conference on extraterrestrials, violent video games, synthetic meat, the decline of soap operas, robotic soldiers, the nation's first marijuana café, Sen. Joe Wilson’s "You lie!" outburst at President Obama, Internet addiction, "Is marriage obsolete?," electronic cigarettes, 8-minute sermons, early puberty, the Civil War sesquicentennial, Arizona's immigration law, the 50th anniversary of the Andy Griffith Show, armed teachers, "Are women smarter than men?," Archie Andrews' proposal to Veronica, 2012 and the Mayan calendar, ACLU school lawsuits, cutbacks at ABC News, and the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon. Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps. Most of the editors carrying "Tyree’s Tyrades" keep it firmly in place on the opinion page, but the column is very versatile. It can also anchor the lifestyles section or float throughout the paper. Nancy Brewer, assistant editor of the "Lawrence County (TN) Advocate" says she "really appreciates" what Tyree contributes to the paper. Tyree has appeared in Tennesee newspapers continuously since 1998. Tyree is a lifelong small-town southerner. He graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. In addition to writing the weekly "Tyree’s Tyrades," he writes freelance articles for MegaBucks Marketing of Elkhart, Indiana. Tyree wears many hats (but still falls back on that lame comb-over). He is a warehousing and communications specialist for his hometown farmers cooperative, a church deacon, a comic book collector, a husband (wife Melissa is a college biology teacher), and a late-in-life father. (Six-year-old son Gideon frequently pops up in the columns.) Bringing the formerly self-syndicated "Tyree's Tyrades" to Cagle Cartoons is part of Tyree's mid-life crisis master plan. Look for things to get even crazier if you use his columns.
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