Imagine Obama

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Interesting how the Republican Party’s attitude towards the office of the presidency has changed in three short years. During the tenure of the previous POTUS, any imagined breach of protocol provoked outpourings of outrage with spokespeople twitching and yelling and waving their arms like one of those wind puppets parked outside used car lots.

First Lady Michelle Obama once was chastised for baring her shoulders at a state dinner. Then the GOP went ballistic for a week because her husband wore a tan suit. During the days of the 44th president, opponents were so desperate for any hint of controversy, Sean Hannity called Obama an elitist because he used Dijon mustard on a burger.

Obama was constantly besmirching the dignity of the office, and by doing so, America. But today, not a single thing Donald Trump does irks the same people. He can lie and steal, make stuff up and call the press “the enemy of the people” and the base doesn’t care. He could say Ronald Reagan betrayed the Republican Party by dying, and supporters would mumble, “Mmm-hmm. Yep. Boy, that’s the truth.”

Imagine if Obama had been accused of a tenth of the stuff that 45 has. One-hundredth. Ceaseless incessant persistent seething doesn’t even come close. Foaming. Fuming. Furiosity. Livid. Rabid. Pogo-stick hopping mad. Cheesed off to the point of sweating curds.

Can you picture how the GOP would have reacted if Barack Hussein Obama had saluted a North Korean general or neglected to lay a wreath at the tomb of the unknown soldier on Memorial Day because it was raining? They would become so apoplectic they’d need plastic spit bibs to keep from ruining their suits.

How about if Obama claimed he had fallen in love with Kim Jong Un after the two had exchanged beautiful letters and then agreed with the North Korean when he attacked a potential presidential rival? Impeachment proceedings would have commenced before Air Force One was wheels down.

If Obama had sucked up to Vladimir Putin so hard he left hickeys the size of tuna cans, or accepted his claim of not interfering with our election over the opinion of 17 U.S. intelligence agencies, or held private meetings with the Russian President out of range of any staffers or media, there would have been so many congressional committees convened the paperwork would have denuded the entire redwood forest north of San Francisco.

If Obama had used his self-named dodgy charity for political purposes or hinted that he would date his daughter if they weren’t related, tactical teams from evangelical churches would have rushed the Oval Office and forced him to his knees to pray for forgiveness on live TV.

Or what if Obama paid $130,000 in hush money to cover up an affair with a porn star while his 3rd wife was pregnant with his fifth child? Or Michele had posed for nude photos? They would both have been burned at the stake with the ashes scattered over the South Side of Chicago.

And if Obama had attacked a war hero like John McCain, the same result. And if the first black president stalked a white woman around the debate stage like Donald did Hillary, forget the stake, the Republicans would be digging out a rope, looking for a tall tree.

Copyright 2019, Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate.

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist, comic and former sod farmer in New Berlin, Wisconsin. For a calendar of personal appearances, including his new one-man show, “Durst Case Scenario,” please visit willdurst.com.

Comedy For People Who Read Or Know Someone Who Does

As the sacred cows set themselves up for slaughter each night at six, America cries out for a man with the aim, strength and style to swat the partisan political piñatas upside their heads. Will Durst is that man. Sweeping both sides of the aisle with a quiver full of barbs sharpened by a keen wit and dipped into the same ink as the day's headlines, Durst transcends political ties, performing at events featuring Vice President Al Gore and former President George H.W. Bush, also speaking at the Governors Conference and the Mayors Convention cementing his claim as the nation's ultimate equal opportunity offender. Outraged and outrageous, Durst may mock and scoff and taunt, but he does it with taste.

A Midwestern baby boomer with a media-induced identity crisis, Durst has been called "a modern day Will Rogers" by The L.A. Times while the S. F. Chronicle hails him as "heir apparent to Mort Sahl and Dick Gregory." The Chicago Tribune argues he's a "hysterical hybrid of Hunter Thompson and Charles Osgood," although The Washington Post portrays him as "the dark Prince of doubt." All agree Durst is America's premier political comic.

As American as a bottomless cup of coffee, this former Milwaukeean is cherished by critics and audiences alike for the common sense he brings to his surgical skewering of the hype and hypocrisies engulfing us on a daily basis. Busier than a blind squirrel neck deep in an almond sorting warehouse, Durst writes a weekly column, was a contributing editor to both National Lampoon and George magazines and continues to pen frequent contributions to various periodicals such as The New York Times and his hometown San Francisco Chronicle.

This five-time Emmy nominee and host/co-producer of the ongoing award winning PBS series "Livelyhood" is also a regular commentator on NPR and CNN, and has appeared on every comedy show featuring a brick wall including Letterman, Comedy Central, HBO and Showtime, receiving 7 consecutive nominations for the American Comedy Awards Stand Up of the Year. Hobbies include the never-ending search for the perfect cheeseburger, while his heroes remain the same from when he was twelve: Thomas Jefferson and Bugs Bunny.

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