Putin’s Puppet

Subscribers Only Content

High resolution image downloads are available to subscribers only.

Not a subscriber? Try one of the following options:



Get A Free 30 Day Trial.

No Obligation. No Automatic Rebilling. No Risk.

Raging Moderate

It was quite a shock to see the president of the United States bend the knee to Vladimir Putin and act as obsequiously as a little leaguer standing next to Aaron Judge. Of course, when Donald Trump spoke while Vladimir Putin drank a glass of water, we all applauded.

In their joint press conference in Helsinki, Finland, Donald Trump made Neville Chamberlain look like a historical badass. He’s given slobbering lapdogs a bad name. Probably compelled Ronald Reagan to spin in his grave so fast you could light up the entire Eastern Seaboard.

Both conservatives and liberals expressed outrage and confusion to see Trump suck up to Vlad the Impaler so hard, many were surprised the Russian President didn’t sport hickeys the size of small manhole covers. I’m not saying Trump’s behavior was a bit smoochy, but Melania has to be hoping he wore a condom.

And that was in public. We have no idea what happened at their extra- special, double secret, two-hour meeting alone. They might have dismissed the interpreters and let nature take its course in a joint session of the He Man NATO Haters Club.

They must’ve treated themselves to some horizontal refreshments, if you catch our drift. Engaged in a little gland-to-gland combat. Played slap the pickle and assault with a friendly weapon. Spent some quality time bumping uglies. Violated the prime directive by engaging in the forbidden polka. Released the Kraken. Or as the kids say: got themselves some serious stank on the hang down.

Former Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta wondered aloud what exactly does Putin have on Trump? Do Russian banks own him? Might there be a video with a live boy or dead goat? Maybe it’s his family. Did Eric break a Russian mobster’s Tiffany Egg?Is he the Manchurian President? Perhaps has one of those explosive implants under his skin like in a James Bond movie? Maybe his hairpiece is a sentient being designed by Soviet army scientists that has surreptitiously controlled him for decades.

Could it be a Montague/ Capulet sort of thing? One theory is he admires the former KG–agent for iron ruling his country for 18 years and wants to grow up to be just like him. More importantly, joining Putin as one of the richest humans on the face of the planet. That would wipe the smirk off Bill Gates’ face.

Supporters argue he’s playing a long-term game and is a stable genius chess master thinking six moves ahead. Or maybe he gets points for every Russian President suck- up and after accumulating enough he gets to invade one of those little aggressive nations like Montenegro or Albania.

After walking back his walk back and unsaying what he said he didn’t say, Trump charged anybody who criticized his groveling as wanting to go to war with Russia. Who knew he was a proponent of Make Love Not War? Besides Michael Cohen, that is.

It’s not right for Americans to have to worry our president is so deep in the pocket of Putin, he’ll be combing lint out of his hair until the midterms. And with a second summit announced for Washington D.C. this fall, our only solace is that he is unable to pass on too many critical secrets due to the fact he doesn’t know anything.

Copyright 2018, Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate.

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist, comic and former sod farmer in New Berlin, Wisconsin. For a calendar of personal appearances, including his new one-man show, “Durst Case Scenario,” please visit willdurst.com.

Comedy For People Who Read Or Know Someone Who Does

As the sacred cows set themselves up for slaughter each night at six, America cries out for a man with the aim, strength and style to swat the partisan political piñatas upside their heads. Will Durst is that man. Sweeping both sides of the aisle with a quiver full of barbs sharpened by a keen wit and dipped into the same ink as the day's headlines, Durst transcends political ties, performing at events featuring Vice President Al Gore and former President George H.W. Bush, also speaking at the Governors Conference and the Mayors Convention cementing his claim as the nation's ultimate equal opportunity offender. Outraged and outrageous, Durst may mock and scoff and taunt, but he does it with taste.

A Midwestern baby boomer with a media-induced identity crisis, Durst has been called "a modern day Will Rogers" by The L.A. Times while the S. F. Chronicle hails him as "heir apparent to Mort Sahl and Dick Gregory." The Chicago Tribune argues he's a "hysterical hybrid of Hunter Thompson and Charles Osgood," although The Washington Post portrays him as "the dark Prince of doubt." All agree Durst is America's premier political comic.

As American as a bottomless cup of coffee, this former Milwaukeean is cherished by critics and audiences alike for the common sense he brings to his surgical skewering of the hype and hypocrisies engulfing us on a daily basis. Busier than a blind squirrel neck deep in an almond sorting warehouse, Durst writes a weekly column, was a contributing editor to both National Lampoon and George magazines and continues to pen frequent contributions to various periodicals such as The New York Times and his hometown San Francisco Chronicle.

This five-time Emmy nominee and host/co-producer of the ongoing award winning PBS series "Livelyhood" is also a regular commentator on NPR and CNN, and has appeared on every comedy show featuring a brick wall including Letterman, Comedy Central, HBO and Showtime, receiving 7 consecutive nominations for the American Comedy Awards Stand Up of the Year. Hobbies include the never-ending search for the perfect cheeseburger, while his heroes remain the same from when he was twelve: Thomas Jefferson and Bugs Bunny.

Look for Will's new book "The All American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing" at bookstores and Amazon.com.

Will Durst's performances and columns are made possible by the First Amendment.